Is this Gods test ?

I have wondered that for the longest time.
I have faith that he put you in my life for a reason.
Not just to be my first love ,
But to be my only love.

I don't know if you know what this feels like.
It all feels so hopeless.
I feel like I should have given up by now.
Loves a letdown recently.

But I have so much hope.
I refuse to give up.

If I'm smiling , I'm close to tears.
When I'm crying , I want nothing but to laugh it off.

I will never understand how you can just give love up.
Do you know how many people would kill for love ?
And you are just throwing it away.

We always said we were different.
I always knew we could make it through anything and everything.
Are you telling me that we both were wrong .. ?

It breaks my heart to think that you don't love me the same anymore.
And to know it's all my fault ...